The Crabby HO
People ask Me EZ What about Email you know everything from that Reply ALL button to the Forward one? Is there any legal way to kill all these evil people who are abusing my email in box?
Applies to Any mail program you happen to be using
How many e-mail messages do you send and receive each day? 10? 20? 50? More? (I'm in the "More" category — about four times more. Wonder why I don't write you back?) To be honest? I do not know how to write. But I am also a tad upset over the way some people are abusing their e-mail privileges. And from the sound of your letters, I'm not alone. Let's tackle some of the bigger issues and see if we can't make this a kinder, gentler cyber world. By the way you cannot kill them. Murder is still
against the Law in the United States Sorry!!
EZ's top 10 e-mail crabs .
Hey NOT that kind of Crabs!! I am trying to be nice here!!!
I'm going to run through this list quick, So keep up.
Crab #1: Be Discreet when replying
You've received a piece e-mail from someone in your very large group of friends or organization. If you feel the need to respond to the sender. Before you hit that Reply All button. Ask yourself the following questions. Who cares? Do I want to receive this again each time one of them decides to hit REPLY ALL too? No matter how witty or urbane you may think it is. This goes the same for personal e-mail (especially if it's an Internet joke or rumor).
For example, I'm fairly certain that Bill Gates doesn't need to know if I'll be attending the annual Microsoft picnic with one child or twelve. Not that he doesn't care, mind you; he just has other types of e-mail that may be more pressing. Shocking but true. So please, don't hit that Reply to All button.
Crab #2: Stop yelling at me
USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IS NOT ONLY RUDE AND IRRITATING, IT'S ALSO HARD TO READ. Save your caps for special occasions, such as those times when you want your recipient to know you're at the end of your rope and ready to string them up with it.
GOT IT?
if you use all caps and prefer that your senders use all caps too because you have limited eyesight, note that you can adjust various settings for your entire computer to help with that. See Help in Windows® for more information.
Crab #3: This is not a chain letter
If I send you something really cool and then get a response from you that, at first glance, appears to have only what I wrote to you at the top of it, I'm going to ass-u-me you have nothing to say to me (and sent me an empty e-mail message to tell me as much).
Let's put this another way: when you're replying to an e-mail message and you want to include what the sender wrote, add your comments at the top of the mail, not the bottom. I sometimes forget what I wrote — SO if I need it and I would want to reread it would be there.
See the logic in keeping all the notes and replies in order? This does not mean you have to keep EVERY word. Just make sure you response is on top. and below that is my message.
Crab #4: Too many forwards is one step backward
Speaking of chain letters, if you're like me (and I know you are), you are fed up with receiving the same jokes, Internet rumors, and chain letters promising free cases of champagne, $1000 from Bill Gates, and miracle cream that erases all your fine lines and bad memories.
While you can cut some slack for those in your life who have just discovered that Great Oracle of Misinformation we call the Internet, it's just not appropriate, considerate, professional, or even cool to forward these useless things to coworkers. (And by the way: Mikey, the kid from a 1970s-era cereal commercial, did not explode after drinking a popular cola laced with fizzy candy. I don't know where he is, but he's probably on some heavy Prozac.) Want to forward something that LOOKS important? Check it out
FIRST!!
Hoax Warnings
Crab #5: Don't be a cyber-coward
If you've got something to say to me that is:
Highly personal
Scary
Sad
Angry
Tragic
Vicious
Shocking
Any combination of the above…
…please do it in person. OR call me on the phone. (Remember the old adage never write anything down you do not want the whole world to read 100 years after your gone.
This goes double for a email.)
Sentient beings are filled with emotions (and NOT emoticons). E-mail programs aren't the best translators of this.
Crab#6: I love you but not your 500 KB image file Uploading.com - The best file hosting service! Referral Service Get your FREE zoomshare Personal Web Site The one I use most: for files: SendSpace The Best Free File Sharing Service: Verzend.be - send files up to 1GB for free ZUPLOAD So please consider the size the file you're sending. If it's a large image, make it smaller. If it's large document, zip it up using a file compression program. Such as Winrar, or zipgenius. I mention these two because they are so easily created and split and if you must you may also password protect them as well. Crab#7: The subject "Re: " means nothing to me Crab #8: Plain text and HTML are not buddies Crab#9:Itchy trigger finger? Count to 10 before hitting the Send button Crab #10: Use the spell checker Crab #11: If e-mail isn't working, consider face-to-face communication Crab #12: Don't abuse E-Cards One last thing: I don't want to imply, with the above list, that you can't have fun, be light, or be creative in e-mail. Some of you have gotten to know me for this I apologize. I an also guilty of many of email boo boos.. (No! It's true!) I'm just telling you to think before sending. Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices."— Ralph Waldo Emerson
As I see it, there are three main reason why you should refrain from sending really large files via e-mail:
It takes a long time to download a large file. This is particularly true if you are on a dial-up connection. When your recipient is checking e-mail because she's waiting for an important message from EZ Crabby HO, it's just plain rude to make her sit there for 10 minutes to download the photo of your goldfish's wedding.
E-mail servers are like studio apartments: there's only so much space to keep everything. If your huge file is taking up 3 megabytes (MB) of space on your recipient's 4 MB e-mail server, he might ask you to move out, take your stuff, and never come back. AOL only allows 16 for instance.
Sometimes you're at the mercy of the ISP Some Internet service providers (ISPs) or free e-mail providers limit the size of a single piece of mail coming through their servers. Sometimes this is because of security issues, and sometimes these companies just want to annoy you. Whatever the reason, your recipient may never even know you sent him something.
If you want to send something that is large AND the person you are sending it TO really wants it.
Do the RIGHT thing! use a GOOD server to send it! There are plenty of Free servers out there. IF you are too cheap to pay for one. Here are a few of my FAVS.
For images:
with Photo Album, Blog and E-mail Account Today:
ImageShack
Uploading.com - The best file hosting service!
RapidShare Webhosting + Webspace
In other words, fill out the Subject line. I get hundreds of e-mail messages each day, and when I get one without anything in the Subject line, I tend to skip over it. If the subject of the message wasn't important enough for the sender to fill out the Subject line, then it's not important to me. Be gone!
If someone sends you mail in plain text format, you can usually tell because: 1) it has no formatting, and 2) the font it appears in is Courier. If you decide to reply to a plain-text sender using HTML format with special fonts and formatting, the text that your recipient receives will look like indecipherable nonsense that needs a Cold War code breaker to untangle its message. Do your recipients a favor: send your reply in the format it came in.
About message formats
You're hot under the collar and everybody knows that (and sometimes loves that) about you. But before sending your clever and scathing message out there to the world (with virtually no chance of retrieving it), remember this: the pushing of the Send button lasts a moment; its effects can last a lifetime — or at least until you're back on the streets, looking for another job or friends.
If you use AOL simply use the and give yourself some time to cool off. BEFORE you send it!! You will Thank yourself for it later.
Manners: Petty sacrifices
I don't care if you use AOL Outlook, Outlook Express, MSN Hotmail, or any other e-mail program. because almost every program has a way to check your lousy spelling before you hit the send button. Some programs have a setting that tell you your spelling sucks automatically, while with others you have to hit a button. But, please just do it. You may save your butt or mine some day with a simple spelling correction. For instance how much good would it do if you sent me a email that said Watch out Bonb? Now if you used
spell check you would realize it should have been bomb. But if you had sent it I could have been looking for well a lot of thinks before I realized Oh yea Bomb OOPS.... never mind .
If after more than two e-mail messages (you send to me, I reply to you, you reply to me, I reply to you), we're still not getting our messages across to each other, then it's possible we're not going to get anywhere. So, let's meet in a IM or telephone or if and whenever possible in person. people do still do that you know amazing I know)
If it seems you cannot talk without fighting and arguing? Sometimes it is best to simply Stop talking. Simply say well we cannot seem to agree and we both seem to be upset right now. Can we just take a break and both calm down to take time to think this over and discuss this at another time when we are both a little calmer? Use a little sense it goes a long way.
E-cards are fun. And there are a lot of free ones out there. It is fun not only to send them but to receive them as well. But! When you open you mail box and there are 20 E-cards all from one person it gets to be kind of a drag. Keep them fun Don't be a E-card Junkie be Selective in your sending.
Crab #13: Read everything before replying
Usually when someone types something into a email they put at least a few seconds of thought into it. Please be kind enough to spend the same actually reading it. Many is the time I have sent out detailed instructions on how to do something or on something I am offering. Only to later have someone I am talking to who Claims to have read the E-mail tell me it would be a fantastic NEW idea to start or could I Please explain it to them. I then find myself copying the exact information I had sent in the email and they
thank me. Telling me how clear and easy it was to understand. They also tell me they wish I had included it in the original E-mail. Then are shocked to realize that is where I got it from. Remember there are no stupid questions there are just abused and ignored answers.
What makes you crabby?
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